So this morning my phone buzzed and I freaked out because nobody texts me first. Maybe I have friends! Then it turned out to be my alarm I didn’t turn off. Boo. Also, I typed this with one hand because im eating an apple with the other.
stream-of-unconsciousness: You liked my profile picture so I assume you’re interested in some rough sex.
All of the Above →
the-absolute-funniest-posts: “We have a test next week.” “Come wash the dishes.” “Your aunt is coming into town.” “Darren Criss is at the bottom of the pool.” “The homework is double-sided.” “You have an essay due at the end of the week.” “Oh, wait, you thought it was Friday? Nope. It’s only Tuesday.” More hilarious gifs here!!
letsjustimitatethereal: Being around drunk people is both scary and incredibly annoying.